Let’s Get Physical

Dear viewers, if you notice later on today that Hell has frozen over, hold me responsible. I… JOGGED. I know. I can barely believe it myself. I have made a lifetime effort of avoiding exertion and have the soft and iridescently pale hands of one who has never known true, honest work. Yet today I joined all the other civilians in a lap about the local park, sweating and grunting in an utterly plebeian fashion. I ignored those gliding past me at a quick speed, seeming to barely notice they were engaged in such a torturous undertaking. Yet I shared a short nod of solidarity with those who, like me, seemed to be gasping for air as if being repeatedly dunked head first into a vat of molasses. After roughly twenty five minutes, I returned home, blotchy and shiny yet knowing the sweet feeling of accomplishment. Once in private, I could complete a few squats, surely the most ridiculous movement a human body can make that doesn’t involve sexual intercourse.

So I did it. The only problem is they tell me you have to keep on doing it at ‘regular intervals’ for it to have any impact. Ugh.

~ by aconno on July 14, 2009.