Watch Out, Workforce. Here I Come!

So I had to update my resume yesterday. That means bandying about words like ‘adept,’ ‘managing,’ and ‘skills’ and describing past jobs with devastating prose on the efficiency of my T-shirt folding and the constant balanced state of my cash. I signed it off with a ‘references available upon request’ which I’m told is more professional but actually masks the fact that I don’t remember any of my past employer’s numbers and I’m hoping no one will ask.

After mostly sticking to retail I’m hoping I can work at a café or hostess at a restaurant. This is because working in a clothing store consists of staring off into space for several hours, shifting your weight from one foot to the other to try to distract yourself from the soreness, while willing a customer or even a masked bandit to come in and take you out of your misery. Also the sight of hangers makes you slightly nauseous and you find yourself folding all your clothes into perfect 15 by 15 squares.

Also, in the realm of summer jobs and the students who frequent it, one word gets spoken of with breathless anticipation: ‘tips.’ It makes everything better. You only make 7.50? Yes, but the tips. On your feet all day? Yeah, but you should see the tips. After work you were lured into an alley by a strange glowing object and got beamed into a spaceship, never to be seen again? BUT THE TIPS.

It’s really a cure-all, like Vaseline or aspirin or finally discovering that perfect cocktail of uppers and downers.

So wish me luck!

~ by aconno on July 17, 2009.